This is a really boring and dumb page because we don't know how to work this thing. So it probably won't work.
Enjoy these dumb jokes!
Please note that we didn't write any of these Jokes ourselves... we're just not that talented!
Twins
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them
goes to a family in Egypt, and is named "Amal." The other goes to
a family in Spain; they name him "Juan."
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon
receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes
she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds,
"But they are twins--if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
Brave Pig
A farmer was in the pub bragging about his pig.
"That animal saved my life twice" he said. "Once I fell into the river
and he jumped in and dragged me to the bank. Another time my house caught on
fire and he ran in and saved me, the wife and kids."
The farmer passes around a picture of the miraculous animal. One of the guys
notices the pig is missing a leg.
"Which accident did the pig lose its leg in?" he asks.
"Neither. An animal like that you don't eat all at once"
Jesus and Satan Sitting in a Tree, Programming in C.
Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This
goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a
contest, with God as the judge.
They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously,
lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds
before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out
the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that
the contest is over. He asks Satan to show what he has come up with.
Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when
the power went out." "Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus
fared any better." Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid
display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished. He stutters, "B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet
Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?"
God chuckles, "Everybody knows...Jesus saves."
Single Guy
Man walks into a supermarket and buys :
1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner
The girl at the checkout looks at him and says "Single are you?"
The man replies very sarcastically "How did you guess?"
She replies "because you're ugly."
Seeing Eye Dogs
There's a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy with a Chihuahua.
The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to the guy with a Chihuahua,
"Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat."
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got
dogs with us."
The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "Just follow my lead." They
walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts
on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk in.
A guy at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed."
The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This
is my seeing-eye dog."
The guy at the door says, "A Doberman Pinscher?"
He says, "Yes, they're using them now, they're very good."
The guy at the door says, "Come on in."
The guy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a
pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in. The guy at the door says,
"Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my
seeing-eye dog."
The guy at the door says, "A Chihuahua?"
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You mean they gave me
a Chihuahua?"
Lottery Winner
This guy runs home and bursts in yelling, "Pack your bags honey,
I just won the lottery!"
She says, "Oh wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or the mountains?"
He replies, "I don't care...Just get the hell out!"
A Day on the Bus
A woman got on a bus holding a baby.
The busdriver said:"That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her
what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me." she fumed.
The man sympathized and said:"Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't
say things to insult passengers."
You're right." She said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a
piece of my mind."
"That's a good idea." the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
Blonde jokes:
Why did the M&M factory fire all their blond employees?
Because they kept throwing away the W's
What do you call a blond with two brain cells?
Pregnant
How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
There's white out on the screen.
How do you tell if another blonde has been using the computer?
There's writing on the white out.
This next one was told to us by Laura.
There is this dark room and in the room there is: A smart blond, a dumb blond, santa clause, a leprechaun and the easter bunny. Someone drops a penny, who picks it up?
Answer: the dumb blond. None of the other ones exist.
This one isn't from humor.com... I don't know where it's from... or when
there were a blond, a brunette and a redhead driving through the desert. Theie car broke down, so they started walking. As they were walking, the brunette smiled and said "I'm smart, because I know that in the desert you get hungry, so I brought some food." And then the redhead smiled and said "I'm smart too, I know that in the desert you get thirsty, so I brought water." And then the blond grinned an impish grin and said "Well, I'm smart too, because I know that in teh desert you get hot, so I brought the car door so we could roll down the window!"
This one is courtesy of Megan.
You, and your two best friends die. When you get to heaven, god says "you can have the time of your life, just DON'T STEP ON A DUCK!" So you and your friends are like ok!
A while later, you and one of your two best friends are at a bar when your other freind walks in with a REALLY ugly guy/girl. You say "What happened?"... your friend says "I stepped on a duck and got stuck with him/her."
The next day, your other friend walks in to the bar with an even uglier guy/girl. "What happened?" You ask.
He/she replies "I stepped on a duck, and got stuck with him/her."
The next day, you're two best friends are sittign in the bar when you walk in with this totally hot guy/girl.... the hottest person ANY of them have ever seen. They ask "Whoa! what happened!" Then the guy/girl who you're with replies "I stepped on a duck and got stuck with him/her!"
That sounds a bit wierd because of all the he/she's and guy/girls, but when you tell that to your friends it will be better.
We'll try and make this page better soon, so come back one day!
I guess you might be wondering who we are? We are Willow and Jen, and we like dirty jokes better, but we're not allowed to put any on this page bacause we're making it at school.
